


the steadiest thing

by artemine



Category: Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Because I can, Fluff, M/M, Marriage Proposal, spoiler: he says yes, this is happy i promise
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-12
Updated: 2014-10-12
Packaged: 2018-02-20 21:12:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,770
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2443316
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/artemine/pseuds/artemine
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“I know that you never married anyone before, and you most likely have a reason, but I figured, that, you know. I'm not forever, but marriage is. So that way, you'd be married to me for the rest of your long life, you see? Like I'd always be with you, somehow. Even after... After. You'd still have something to show for it. If you agree. If you'd like to have that.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	the steadiest thing

**Author's Note:**

> “Magnus’ heart didn’t beat like human hearts did: it was slower, but steady. Sometimes Alec thought it was the steadiest thing in his life.”

On the road between the Upper East Side and Brooklyn he hated, Alec always told himself he would either stay at Magnus's and never come back, or move back in the Institute. Deep down, though, he knew the two destinations were worth it. He could never completely leave the Institute and he was not staying very far from his boyfriend anymore. Generally, he lost himself in thoughts and hoped for the tube not to be crowded and sweaty and gross, but not today. Today, he couldn't stop checking the time, and counting the stops until Magnus' s dear flat. _Their_ flat. The fact he had found a home that he _chose_ was still something he had a bit of trouble believing. 

He'd been living with the warlock for several years now, and yet. For Magnus, it looked like it had been the easiest thing in the world. He had let Alec in all at once, sharing memories, bed and home with a simplicity that had warmed the Shadowhunter's heart at the time, and still did. He felt the fierce love of his boyfriend everywhere in the flat. Magnus had made room for him everywhere he could, and where he couldn't, he had started adding shelves, and cupboards, and anything that could give Alec the liberty of making this place _home_. Their old promise to enjoy every single day had died down a little bit with time, because of their two different lives. They had both tried not to let routine settle up too deeply, but had also found out it was extremely nice to have one. Some days and weeks were more complicated than others, but Alec knew they were very doing their very best to make it work. And to his pleasure, it was. It was working _amazingly_. After the great meltdown and the breakup, he had - as he did with most things that did not seem to work for him - lost hope. But as of right now, everything was truly amazing. Which led him to today. 

The ring felt heavy in his pocket. Heavier than all the weapons he had carried his whole life. Heavier, somehow, than all the different weights he had experienced on his shoulders during his life. Holding back the fact that he was gay. Holding back i love you. Holding back how painful it felt to love someone so much but not to feel worthy of it. Holding back fear, and holding back that feeling of constantly fucking up. This was a whole different kind of weight. He was extraordinarily excited, but also completely terrified, and he knew he had only one way to get everything off his chest: act. He had thought about this for several months, and had never found the right moment to really talk about it with Magnus. Not because he was scared of his boyfriend's reaction all that much, not because he wasn't sure about his request, not because he was afraid of the reactions of other people, no, he was way past that. He was just troubled by the lingering feeling that maybe, maybe it wasn't worth it. And that was one of the most terrifying things he ever felt. By the time he was walking to the door of the flat, he was repeating _it's gonna be fine_ in his head. He took a deep breath before actually opening the door. When he came in, he let it out. The familiar sight of Magnus laying down on the couch in front of the TV made his heart miss a beat. He had discovered he often liked the little things best, that it was the little details of his boyfriend's everyday life that brought him rushes of affection. The way the warlock rubbed his eyes in the morning, the fact that he never finished his coffee and that there was always a little bit left in his cup, how he changed everything in the flat every day except their bedroom. How he kissed him on the nose to wake him up, and the familiar touch of his knuckles on his cheekbones during sex. The little things. 

He smiled as he put his jacket on the hook next to the door, throwing his shoes in the vague direction of the cupboard at the same time. Magnus was already outstretching his hand, welcoming his Shadowhunter back home. Alec gracefully took it, gently pushing away his boyfriend to get a spot behind him on the couch. Some rerun of a fashion TV reality show was on television, but even Magnus seemed not to pay much attention to it. The Lightwood had settled to be the big spoon, and he put his hand on Magnus's waist lazily. He dropped a kiss on his boyfriend's cheek. The warlock smiled and turned his head to face the blue-eyed boy. 

“I have been waiting for you for a long time now.” 

Alec gestured at the television. “I see you've kept yourself entertained.” 

The warlock snorted, turning his attention back to the show. “Actually, some girl earlier tried to match several shades of green in one outfit. I _actually_ cried.” 

The Lightwood scoffed, sarcastically rubbing his hand against Magnus's shoulder as a sign of affection. “Tough day. Did you ever consider participating to one of these shows?” 

The warlock shrugged. “That would be unfair to every other contestants.” Alec rolled his eyes, taking advantage of the fact Magnus wasn't looking at him. 

“Totally unfair. Sure.” He caught a glimpse of Magnus's smirk and smiled too, sliding his arm around his waist to tighten the hug. They stayed like that in silence for a little while, until Alec felt Magnus's elbow poking him in the stomach. The Shadowhunter jumped, surprised, and loosened his grip. Magnus's head was turned as far as he could to watch his boyfriend. The warlock squinted his cat eyes. 

“Two things: One, I was talking to you, and two, are you trying to stop my lungs from functioning? That's one deadly hug you're giving me. Are you okay?” Alec apologized quickly, letting him go. He hadn’t realized he’d been so lost in thought. Again. The warlock took the opportunity to fully turn to face his boyfriend, propping himself on his elbow. The Lightwood avoided his eyes, knowing he now had to give a reason as for why he was so lost deep in his own head, and that there was no turning back now. Either he found some excuse, or it was the time to get out that dumb heavy ring. He settled for kissing Magnus, telling him he was perfectly fine and asking him what he was talking about. Magnus did not look convinced. “I was asking what you wanted to eat tonight.” Alec couldn't help but laugh. He was all busy thinking about the ring, about how much he loved, loved, loved Magnus, about when and how he should ask, and his boyfriend was worried about food. The warlock shook his head. “What's so funny about food? Are you sure you're okay?” 

Alec grabbed Magnus's hand, and smiled. It wasn't a steady smile, but it was the best he could do. He felt like someone had threw him back on that first day where he had gathered all the courage he had and walked to Brooklyn, in the hope that he could ask a pretty boy out. “Magnus, can I ask you something?” 

The warlock saw the agitation in his boyfriend's eyes, and dropped a light kiss at the corner of his lips. “Anything. You know that.” 

The Lightwood slowly started to sit up. Magnus got the clue, and let his legs drop from the couch, adjusting himself to sit correctly next to Alec. He was still frowning, trying to understand what was so important. Alec rubbed his palms against his knees, and tried to forget he was extremely nervous. He knew it was just a few words, and that as soon as he'd get them out, it would be over and done. It wasn't the moment to doubt their relationship. He slowly turned his head to look at Magnus's cat eyes, and the worlds tumbled out. “Would you be interested in… uh… marrying me?” 

Magnus stared at him, and stared, and stared. Alec had stopped breathing at some point, and he felt like he was going to pass out of stress if his boyfriend - soon to be, fiancé, he hoped - didn't say anything very soon. Hopefully, the warlock opened his mouth. He stared some more, looking for the glint in Alec's eyes that was present when he was teasing him, but it wasn't there. Alexander Lightwood was 100% serious. It was terrifying. And it was, at the same time, probably the most beautiful thing that ever happened to him. Alec couldn't bare the staring anymore, and he started looking at his knees. He didn't hope to find much answers there, but at least his knees weren't staring back. Finally, the Shadowhunter felt the touch of Magnus's fingers on his cheekbone. It was a familiar touch, something Magnus always did when he was trying to find words for his emotions. When he was trying to comfort Alec, or when he was trying to tell him he did not want to be comforted. When he didn't think I love you was strong enough, or when he thought he could not apologize with words. The gesture was an unspoken bound between them. Something Alec knew to be one of the most intimate things Magnus could have done. The warlock brushed his skin, trembling, and Alec dared to glance at the warlock's face. Magnus was smiling, and his cat eyes were shining. 

“If I'd be interested in marrying you?” 

Alec chuckled awkwardly, aware of the fact he was probably blushing like crazy and that he could have probably done a better proposal. Magnus's hand left his face, and he took it, holding it like it was a buoy. It was not the first time he held it like it was the only thing that could save him from drowning, but it was the first time the warlock's hand held it back with trembling fingers. “I know that you never married anyone before, and you most likely had a reason, but I figured, that, you know. I'm not forever, but marriage is. So that way, you'd be married to me for the rest of your long life, you see? Like I'd always be with you, somehow. Even after... After. You'd still have something to show for it. If you agree. If you'd like to have that.” 

The Lightwood did not think his body was capable of feeling so much tension. He was aware of every little nerve in his system. Magnus felt ten times worse. And he couldn’t say a word. He was frozen in place, next to his beautiful boyfriend asking him the question he had been asked before by a few of his previous lovers. He had always waved it off, because he felt like it would be more painful for him that it would be happy. It would bring joy, at first, and then the person would die, and he’d be a widower, instead of being single again. It was a very selfish reason to say no, but he had always told himself it was a necessary evil. He couldn’t go around wearing a new wedding ring every century. But this was Alec. And Alec, if he had taught him anything, had taught him selflessness. He had taught him to be the best person he could be, and he knew that the Lightwood had thought about the consequences of his proposal, and that he wasn’t asking it on a whim. He wondered how many sleepless nights he had gone through before deciding it was the right thing, or if one day the Shadowhunter had woken up and realized  _this is it_ . It didn’t matter. It didn’t matter, because Magnus wanted to say yes. He wanted to say yes, and wear the ring for centuries, and prove Alec that he had been worthy of everything. He knew the marriage itself was not a big deal. He knew it wasn’t the act that mattered, he knew it was the reason behind it. Alec did not need the validation anymore, and they were a happy couple as it was. It was not easy every day, and it would never be, but they did their best, and they were making it work, and they loved each other, and it was what mattered. They had found each other when everything worked against them, and they had battled for it, and they had won. And  _that_ was what it was all about. Alec wanted to show Magnus he knew there would be an end to his life, but it didn’t matter if he could go on with just the knowledge that they used to be something more. And Magnus, by saying the precious two words he thought he’d never say –  _I do_ , would show Alec that he was special enough for it. That he was worth being remembered through centuries. Because he was. Because they both were. Magnus kissed him. He dropped Alec’s hand and cupped his face, and kissed him, with tenderness, but strength. His hands were not trembling anymore, and he was glad he had said no to marriage so many times, if it meant saving it for his blue eyed Shadowhunter. Alec kissed him back, his hands flying to the warlock’s hair. Magnus pulled back, but stayed within kiss distance, whispering to the Lightwood. 

“Of course I would. Of course I would, you dumb thing. I love you.” 

And that was that. Alec knew he ought to expect a burst of happiness at hearing those words, but he was not ready for the feelings that were racing through him when Magnus spoke. Knowing that yes, Magnus would marry him, and that he would have that with the warlock, that it was official, that it was happening, that he was his fiancé, and that if he could go back in time to talk to his 16 year old self, he could say “Stop doubting yourself. Chin up. Be proud. You’ll find the one, too, and it’ll be so, so, so worth the wait”, was something he could not have readied himself for. He felt like he could do anything. Like everything he had gone through, every doubt, and every little thing that had hurt him, every thorn that still often stung, had just healed and disappeared. Because Magnus was here, and Magnus would be here. Because he had found the courage to ask, and he had fell in love with a man that had the strength to answer yes. Alec untangled himself from his fiancé, and chuckled again.

“Hold up. I have a ring.” 

Magnus raised an eyebrow, and smirked. “Where were you hiding it?” 

Alec shrugged, and put a hand in his pocket. The warlock rolled his eyes. “Really? You don’t even have a case for it? You’re just going to get it out from your jeans. Goodbye, romance.” 

The Shadowhunter pushed Magnus away with an exasperated sigh. “Look, my pockets aren’t big enough for a case. And even if they were, you would have made a joke on  _the thing in my pocket_ , and I would have had to propose because of a dick pun. Goodbye romance.” 

Magnus snorted, but did not deny it. It was pointless. Instead, he gave a falsely judging look at the Lightwood. 

“You didn’t even get on your knee. I’m taking this as a personal offense. Am I not worthy enough of all the cheesy cliché movie like wedding proposal?” 

Alec cocked his head, thought of asking again on his knees for the sake of Magnus’s romantic need, and decided against it. Instead, he raised his eyebrows and got closer to his fiancé, slipping the ring on his finger. He softly kissed his husband to be, barely touching his lips. “Or.  _Or_ , you could be patient, and wait for me to get on my knees for a completely different occasion.” 

Magnus’s eyes shone with a different light now. One Alexander knew. And liked. “Patient? Am I ever?” 

Alec felt Magnus’s hands on his hips, and suddenly, he was lying on the couch, under his fiancé. The warlock winked at him. “Never. I love that about you.” Magnus opened his mouth to answer, but Alec cut him with a kiss. “Stop talking. We have better things to do. As fiancés.” Said fiancé had nothing to answer to this, and he kissed him back. 

The rest, as they say, is history.


End file.
